My grief, up until now, has been a private affair for me. When my daughter died over 17 years ago, I remember consciously choosing to stay away from grief groups and counselors.
With the current social trend to sharing everything about oneself with others either through communities, groups that have a common interest, or through social networks, it almost feels like one is weird if they want to grieve by themselves.
I guess, part of what this blog post is about is that I stand for those who, like myself, want to grieve by themselves. That one is not weird to want to grieve in private. And that it can actually be an effective path of grieving that is rich and healing.
The reasons why I chose doing grief by myself are for several reasons. It reflects how I was raised as a child that one keeps personal things personal. It also honors that part of my personality who is private. I always felt that the death of one we love is such a sacred threshold that to talk about it with a person I barely know feels disrespectful to my loved who has died and the actual spiritual event of the death.
I was fortunate that I have had tools to self-manage and navigate my way through my grief. Six months prior to Lara’s death, I met Rudolf Steiner’s work. Rudolf Steiner was a philosopher and scientist and the founder of Anthroposophy. The word anthroposophy literally means wisdom of man. Anthroposophy is not a religion but a philosophy. Rudolf Steiner’s lectures and books resonated with my being an esoteric Christian who believes in reincarnation. Steiner wrote extensively on how to cultivate a connection with one who has died and about what happens when one dies. He quenched a thirst I had.
You can imagine after being private with my grief work for over 17 years how surprised and resistant I was when earlier this year I received the inspiration to create Easing Grief. The project felt contrary to my inner need for this privacy and my core belief about keeping personal things personal. Yet, when I received the inspiration I knew deep inside that this is important work to share. On many levels this project has been a big stretch for me. To share the practices and results of this work while standing in my need to keep my personal life private. It is a fine line between the two. My deepest desire is that I am pleasing God, my daughter and other loved ones who have died with this work. I am hoping that the Easing Grief program proves that to be true. I also hope that it helps the individual who has chosen the path of grieving on their own to ease their own grief by creating a living relation to their loved one who has died.
Here is an introduction to the Easing Grief Program. I invite you to watch it now.
It is the time in the world’s spiritual evolution to have a conscious living relationship to those who have died. I hope you agree.
Founder of Arts2Thrive
Creator of Easing Grief
September 4, 2014